The Premier League season has drawn to a close and if we're being frank, the final few weeks were a bit of a damp squib. Aside from the relegation battle, pretty much everything else was wrapped up too early and the tension we all crave simply wasn't there.
But now that the dust has settled, and we have some time to reflect, we've gotten to thinking of ways the competition could be improved. These ideas will of course be passed on to the Football Association and we fully expect all of them to be implemented. If you have some additions you'd like to make, be sure to get in touch with us.
Manager Wars
In the run-up to big games, we are forced to indulge the fiction of the 'mind game' or the 'war of words' in which managers slag each other off for a while and, and at the end, Jose Mourinho is deemed the winner. These cause ire because they are so pointless, so we propose giving them a role on the field. Ahead of each game, Premier League managers go head-to-head in a carefully planned war of words in their respective press conference, with the 'winner' awarded a one-goal head start in that game. We're not sure how best to determine the winner, maybe a panel of experts in this field, made up of Alex Ferguson, and er, well, no need for anyone else. It would be worth it to see Eddie Howe go rogue.
Change how the fourth Champions League spot is awarded
The Race For Fourth is often the most interesting thing about the upper half of the Premier League table, but there is so much scope for experimentation in awarding the fourth spot. We propose a cruiserweight belt, which is held at the beginning of the season by the side that finished fourth the season previous. They hold the belt until they lose a game, and then pass it onto their opponents, who themselves keep it until they lose a game. The side who hold the belt at full-time on the final day of the season qualify for the Champions League.
Another option for that fourth Champions League spot
Every April the EPL announce a random position that qualifies for the Champions League. 'The race for 11th' or whatever would hot up some fierce
Stage a random draw at the beginning of the season to determine who manages each side
Most of the league is a managerial merry-go-round anyway,so this would solidify that reality. We love the idea of Mourinho feeling he is prostituting his talents at Cardiff City, while Sam Allardyce would land the Chelsea gig that Sam Allardeechay has always claimed should be his.
Urai Emery would of course end up at Huddersfield Town, mere weeks after taking over Arsenal. Who would the Gunners get. Well they'd be landed with surprise entrant, Arsene Wenger.
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There are our suggestions, and you chimed in with suggestions of your own, that varied from great to just utterly mental.
Hugh O'Farrell - Relegation Playoff
Hugh reckons the side that finishes bottom of the Premier League should face the side who finished in 19th an absurdly high-stakes playoff. The winner drops into the Championship....while the loser plunges all the way to League Two, and will, in all likliehood, go out of business immediately.
Cathal Byrne - Extra Time Multi-Ball
Extra balls introduced at stages during extra-time would be gloriously anarchic, and enough to send referees into nervous breakdowns.
Michael Healy - North of England XI vs South of England XI
The Watford Gap classic. The northern sides against the southern teams (the London clubs, realistically) in a one-off game. Agree with our teams?
Northern XI: De Gea; Walker, Van Djik, Lascelles, Robertson; Fernandinho, Silva, De Bruyne; Salah, Aguero, Mane
Southern XI: Courtois; Azpilicueta, Alderweireld, Vertonghen, Alonso; Kante; Eriksen, Hazard, Alli; Aubameyang Kane
Jack McCambridge - Make Theo Walcott play for a team managed by David Moyes
We're not sure of the logic here, but we like the idea.
Derry Linehan - Award a bonus point for more than three goals per game
The kind of rule to make Jose Mourinho wake up in cold sweats at night. A great rule for the likes of free-scoring Liverpool and Man City, but also good news for the side they are facing on a given weekend.
