Big, bad Brede Hangeland was a neutral's favourite during his spell at Fulham.
The no-nonsense Norwegian central defender starred for the Cottagers between 2008 and 2014, and was perennially linked to larger clubs such as Arsenal for the better part of his Premier League career.
It was at Crystal Palace where he first trained and played alongside Emmanuel Adebayor, but his definitive and most comical memory of the big Togolese striker arrived a couple of seasons previous, when he was marking Adebayor during a game between Fulham and Spurs.
Hangeland recounted the tale to Norwegian football podcast Heia Fotball. On this show, the guest must pick a 'themed XI' of former teammates. Hangeland was tasked with selecting his all-time 'Lazy XI', where he provided particularly entertaining accounts of training with Wilfried Zaha, Dimitar Berbatov, Bryan Ruiz and Bobby Zamora to name just a few.
Ny pod ute! Ukas gjest, @HangelandTV2, har vunnet ROYAL LEAGUE!! pic.twitter.com/16BrwhoPem
— Heia Fotball (@P3HeiaFotball) January 19, 2017
It was his Adebayor yarn which stole the show, however. The following was translated from Norwegian to English by r/soccer Scandinavian football sage brodor:
Only played with him for 6 months but a quick story. I played for Fulham and he played for Spurs. We were attacking and I was marking Adebayor in midfield.
Suddenly he says, "Ahhh, I'm hungry".
I replied, "What?"
[Adebayor said:] "I can't wait for the game to finish, I'm so hungry. Do you know a good restaurant in London, Hangeland?"
Later when he came to Palace I started to realise where this came from. When we had strength workouts he would sit in the gym with just a cup of coffee and a muffin. He was being paid by City, Tottenham and Palace at the same time, and he was sitting in the gym drinking coffee. Incredible natural talent, very lazy.
There's truly a lot to love about Emmanuel Adebayor, but moaning about being hungry on the field of play, and asking for restaurant recommendations having spent the majority of his career in London, is frankly amazing.
Elsewhere in Hangeland's Lazy XI, Manchester United fans might have gained some key insight into why things never worked out for Wilfried Zaha at Old Trafford.
Hangeland, who played with Zaha at Palace, explained how the Ivorian international winger struggles with motivation and gym routines:
Amazing physique and very athletic, huge potential. On some Mondays he'd come over to me and say, "I'm starting my program now!"
He'd clearly decided to start during the weekend. We'd then go to the gym together and he'd do like 5 push-ups, sigh, and leave. It felt like he had a New Years resolution every Monday. [He] would be incredible if he was serious.
Hangeland also spilled the beans on notorious lazyman Dimitar Berbatov, and his stunning end-of-season frugality:
I've never seen a man get so many massages in my life. I'm certain he spent more hours getting massaged than he trained. Whenever we were in the gym working out Berbatov was getting massages. I knew the guy who gave him massages and usually at the end of the season the players give the physios a gift, a trip, a car, money whatever. He'd massaged Berbatov for hundreds of hours that season and he got...nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Hangeland went on to explain to the host that Berbatov had essentially starved his way to a six-pack, which might somewhat explain his lacklustre nature on the pitch.
The bullshit-free centre back also ripped the living piss out of former Fulham teammate Bryan Ruiz, a.k.a. the Costa Rican Berbatov.
Was never near the gym, don't think he even knew where it was. Always wore long sleeves and gloves. I wouldn't be surprised if he showed up with a scarf and beanie during games. He absolutely hated being even marginally uncomfortable. If it was cold or we were away to Stoke he'd never come along.
Absolutely wonderful stuff from the big man.
Hangeland's full lazy XI has been translated by brodor on r/soccer, and can be read back here.
