Here's all you need to see from day five of Brazil 2014, from Germany's clinical evisceration of a hapless Portugal, a Nigeria-Iran game for the ages - the Dark Ages, that is - and a pulsating late game between the Black Stars and the Stars and Stripes.
Enjoy.
Portugal (0) v. Germany (4), Salvador
Neither Rui Patricio or Sami Khedira will want to see this again:
Shortly after that, the referee adjudged that Joao Pereira to have fouled Mario Goetze in the box.
Thomas Mueller converted the penalty.
A Mats Hummels header from a Toni Kroos corner made it 2-0 to Germany.
Hummels leapt high to send Germany into a commanding 2-0 lead.
Pepe was sent off for reacting badly to Thomas Mueller going down easily and headbutting him.
PUNDIT WATCH: Patrick Vieira had no time for Chiles' view on the Pepe dismissal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExmxXNAWs_I
Just before half-time, Mueller put the game beyond Portugal.
Mueller scores his hat-trick. Party time for Germany.
After the humiliation, Cristiano Ronaldo wanted to get off the field as quickly as possible, which to be fair most of us would.
But on his way to the tunnel, German boss Joachim Loew gave the Portuguese captain a sportsmanlike handshake, or at least it looked like that until the replays showed him appearing to picking his nose beforehand.
With a scoreline like that, no wonder Ronaldo looked like this.
Iran (0) v. Nigeria (0), Curitiba
PUNDIT WATCH: Although this was great...
USA (2) v. Ghana (1), Natal
Clint Dempsey scored the fifth earliest goal in World Cup history. That's karma for Asamoah Gyan playing up front while wearing the number three shirt. 
But just 4 minutes late John Brooks lept to put USA ahead once more. Immediately after the match, Delta Airlines had a bit of a mishap on the old Twitter machine.
ICYMI: Ghana does not have giraffes. (cc: @Delta) pic.twitter.com/SS9D4I6dXS
— Michael Skolnik (@MichaelSkolnik) June 17, 2014
