This is a magnificently pointless exercise, albeit one that has been at the focus of many a pub conversation. Which international football team does your county most resemble?
Now, obviously, trying to twin a county with an international football team is a very inexact business. We haven't gone through all thirty-two counties, rather we have singled out the comparisons which are most exact - let us know if there any better matches out there.
And remember. This is pointless.
Football
Kerry = Brazil
Historically, the most successful operators in the sport, their name has become a byword for entertaining, purist delighting football - but less so in recent times.
That 7-1 loss to Germany finds echoes in Kerry's 2-14 to 0-5 loss to Meath in the 2001 All-Ireland semi-final.
Mayo = Holland
Mayo get paired up with Holland in tribute to the latter's status as the team who has gotten to the most World Cup without winning. However the coolly apathetic Dutch don't appear to be as hung up or distressed about the repeated losses on the biggest stage as their counterparts in the West of Ireland.
Both cherish a reputation for being attractive footballing teams and the Mayo team of 1992 indulged in a classic Dutch-style revolt against their manager. Conor Mortimer's departure in 2012 had unmistakably Dutch vibes.
Kildare = England
The feverish enthusiasm of their supporters sits strangely alongside their relative underachievement in the big competitions.
Cork = Argentina
Brazil/Kerry's junior partner down in that neck of the woods, Cork are continually labelled as pretenders to the throne. When folk are put on the spot to name their favourite for the World Cup/All-Ireland and they don't to say the obvious they usually plump for Cork/Argentina. Neither team have delivered on this promise consistently (though they have won the big one a few times).
Meath = Germany
The comparison applies less now, but both have a historical reputation for being resilient, mentally strong and unyielding in a tight finale.
They are often painted as the pantomime villains - Germany by the boisterous English media and Meath by everybody after they slaughtered Bambi's mum in the 1996 All-Ireland final replay.
They usually get the better of England/Kildare
Any successful northern team = Italy
One has to leave aside the fact that Italy are considered old money in the international football scene and the successful Ulster counties (Armagh, Tyrone, Donegal) are seen as nouveau riche, because in other respects this comparison is quite exact.
Both have shown an ability time and again to stop seemingly unstoppable juggernauts in their tracks with tactically perfect performances in big games.
They are also frequently tarred with the cynicism brush by the purists
Cavan = Uruguay
Both are immensely proud of the fact that they have won the big one a number of times no one can remember that far back. Spent a long time in the wilderness but experienced a bit of a renaissance in recent times.
Galway = France
They have the ability to go from brilliant to crap and back again with mystifying speed. Hard to work out. Phlegmatic fanbase. Had a good year in 1998
Dublin = USA/China in 40 years
There is no international football team who are analogous to the Dubs in terms of resources and media coverage, but we confidently predict that in forty years time there will be talk of splitting up the US and China because they are so successful.
Leitrim = Ireland
Capable of the odd impressive result and very often capable of the resounding moral victory, they are nonetheless beset by emigration and have struggled in recent times. They enjoyed a glorious period in the early 1990s.
Hurling
Kilkenny = Germany
Football is a game where twenty-two men run around for ninety minutes and in the end the Germans win. Hurling is a game where even more lads run around for seventy minutes and at the end of it all Brian Cody is telling Marty Morrissey it was a 'savage battle out there' and our boys showed great 'spirit and genuineness' to pull through at the end.
Both are extolled for their ruthlessness and are unflinching when it comes to hammering teams. Neither Kilkenny nor Germany bother with many other team sports.
Clare = Spain
Long-suffering and often accused of failing on the big day, they have developed a formidable side in the modern era. Feted as the saviours of the game.
Cork = Holland
Somewhat more successful that the Dutch in terms of scooping the game's grandest prizes, Cork nevertheless share the Dutch football team's taste for mutiny and player-manager squabbles. Both consider themselves to be the true holders of the flame despite the greater success of another county - this mentality was at his height after the Dutch lost the 1974 World Cup final and when the Cork stopped winning All-Irelands in the late noughties.
Dublin = USA
The GAA have thrown almost as much into promoting hurling in Dublin as FIFA have put into pushing soccer in America. Finally, both are showing results. We suspect that Dublin will win the All-Ireland before the Americans win the World Cup.
Galway = Russia
Bundles of promise and a big pick but continued under-achievement. Frequently horsed out of it by less technical teams in the closing stages of games. Have a reputation for treating their managers roughly.
Tipperary = Argentina
Hard to equate Tipp with any international football team but their place on the ladder links them with Argentina. A team who are permanently touted as contenders though actual victories are relatively few and far between.
