It finished goalless in RTE's live game at the Camp Nou, meaning that with no goals to show, there was an added bit of chat post-game. To fill the time, Eamon Dunphy dusted off his post-game eulogy, and lamented that 'twas now the time to stop the clocks, as Barcelona were officially dead. So pack up the moon and dismantle the sun, because Leo '45 goals in 44 games so far this season' Messi is finished.
With the Dunphy lament in the can, he next decided to kick off the nearest thing RTE has had to a consistently well-viewed nature programme: Eamon Dunphy's Donkey Watch. To hammer home his point that Barcelona are in terminal decline, he decided to flag a couple of the limitations of the opposition. This is rarely a nuanced breakdown of an opposition's positioning play, but instead consists of Dunphy labelling a few lads as donkeys.
Tonight, he read off a sheet of paper to give the enterprise a veneer of research.
They've been beaten over two legs by a Juventus team with a number of average players. Cuadrado, who failed at Chelsea, lasted four months.
Mandzukic: a bit of a donkey.
Higuain is an expensive donkey.
Dunphy was then interrupted by Liam Brady pointing out that Higuain has scored a lot of goals for Juventus this season, to which Dunphy responded "well it is a one-team league, isn't it". Brady then said that they are proving themselves in Europe, and Darragh Maloney interjected to move the conversation off Eamon Dunphy's Donkey Watch. Not so.
Hold on, I haven't finished listening the donkeys.
Khedira. Sami Khedira. It's news to anyone watching this programme that a man called Sami Khedira was playing tonight. He does [have a World Cup winners' medal] but he never got a kick of the ball tonight.
So they are losing to a team who didn't even score a goal against them tonight. I backed Juventus to win the Champions League, but I don't think they'll win it after that.
He rounded off with the bon mot that he believed Juve could win the donkey derby.
Watch it below. Eamon Dunphy's Donkey Watch begins at 2.05.
Eamon Dunphy on Juventus
Top managers now working in the Premier League is surely a sign that the power has shifted, according to the RTÉ panel pic.twitter.com/l6FD0sxbps
— RTÉ Soccer (@RTEsoccer) April 19, 2017
Mario Mandzukic has scored 8 goals this season, despite playing in an unfamiliar wide position to accommodate Gonzalo Higuain, who has scored a phenomenal 30 goals so far this season for Juve.
Cuadrado has scored thrice and set up a further six goals himself this season, and all three are part of a side who have conceded twice in ten Champions League games this season, and have just kept a clean sheet at a ground Barca have scored 21 goals at in their last four European games.
It's fair to say that viewers were taken aback by Eamon Dunphy on Juventus:
Eamon Dunphy: "Juventus are a team of donkeys"
Also Eamon Dunphy: "Wes Hoolahan! We should be so lucky as to kiss his feet"— ⭐ amy o'connor ⭐ (@amyohconnor) April 19, 2017
Eamon Dunphy "Higuain is an expensive Donkey" pic.twitter.com/hfm3JclH2m
— Jack (@JackMac_8) April 19, 2017
Now we move into the Dunphy analysis that even the winners are shit which makes the losers even shitter
— aidan o'hara (@oharaa) April 19, 2017
RTE should supply subtitles for what Richie Sadlier is thinking while Eamonn Dunphy is speaking... @RTEsport
— Adam 🇮🇪 (@AdamsBapple) April 19, 2017
fighting back tears at elegy from dunphy & brady for lionel messi, who's scored just 45 goals in 44 games this season #RIP #goodbyelionel 😢
— Ken Early (@kenearlys) April 19, 2017
See Also: Watch: Martin O'Neill & Graeme Souness' Comically Contrasting Views On Leicester
