Over the last week we've been running a hugely important poll on Balls.ie. Perhaps the most important vote in the history of mankind. We asked you, the people, to rank the best fictional sports coaches of all time.
Well folks, the votes are in, the votes are counted and verified. We present to you the definitive rankings.
9th: Father Ted Crilly – 1% of the vote
The dark horse of this vote. Father Ted hadn't even been listed as one of the suggestions but his popularity was such that he has made it onto the rankings with 1%.
Although I don't know if a man who so easily ignores his morals should rank on a list of great sports coaches.
8th: Danny O'Shea – 1.2% of the vote
He came in just ahead of Father Ted but I'd imagine if Ted had been a listed candidate then Danny would have sadly found himself in last place. And that is to the shame of all humanity. Just look at this trailer and try tell me different!
7th: Whitey Durham – 3% of the vote
Here we have the big upset with many bookies. Whitey Durham was listed among the top three favourites for the greatest coach ever but it turns out he's nothing more than a second coming of Thomas E Dewey.
Still great watching the Ravens win the State Championship though.
6th: Stewart Jackson – 3.8% of the vote
It's amazing how far this man has come. It seems as though his life had hit rock bottom when he suffered that blasted knee injury but years of rehabilitation, in every sense, have taken Jackson from that dark day to this – being recognised as the sixth greatest fictional sports coach of all time.
5th: Your Man from the Barrys Tea ad – 8% of the vote
This may come as surprise to some but there's no questioning his credentials. He'll make a man captain on merit, and is willing to put any personal issues – such as the sexual tension between the player and his daughter – aside when making his decision.
http://vimeo.com/25454562
4th: Irv Blitzer – 10% of the vote
A grumpy old curmudgeon turned himself around thanks to four Jamaican sprinters. Irv Blitzer wrote his way out of the bad books and into our hearts; being crowned the fourth greatest fictional coach of all time in the process.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ar4WlU4oQPM
3rd: Tony D'Amato – 14% of the vote
He's been voted into third place but if you ask me this is too high for an over-the-hill coach who only got to where he was on the back of his third string quarterback ignoring his tactics and winging it.
Sure the speech was great but is D'Amato really a top three coach?
2nd: Gordon Bombay – 21% of the vote
It was a close vote for a long time, with Coach Bombay occupying the top spot on more than one occasion. However, in the end he fell just short. The Might Duck's leader has a special place in the history of sports fiction and it's no shame to finish second.
If there's one thing that sport has thought us is that even in the jaws of defeat there is a lesson to be learned. Like .. maybe stop showing blatant favouritism when picking your starting team!
1st: Eric Taylor – 34% of the vote
Well I doubt there are many who would argue with this decision. Coach Eric Taylor is not just the greatest fictional sports coach of all time, he's the greatest fictional human being of all time.
He has everything – wisdom, leadership, great morals, a big heart, a really hot wife and a really hot daughter to boot. His scene with Smash before Williams' leaves for college is, in my book, one of the best tv scenes of the 21st Century.
Clear eyes, full hearts...
