"I won't believe it until he's holding up the shirt outside the training ground!" is the proclamation often heard by stubborn fans who are trying not to get caught up in transfer rumours, but it shows just how important the transfer unveiling photo has become. For many, it is the moment when fantasy becomes reality. The story you have been tracking for weeks about a big foreign name who has fallen out with his manager and is now on a plane to complete a medical, it's all hearsay until the photographic evidence is provided in the form of a big cheesy grin and the new club shirt being held aloft proudly.
Here at Balls.ie we have trawled through thousands of images and can now bring you our definitive guide to the transfer unveiling photo.
1. Smile Like You Mean It.
The fans of your new club want to feel like you are happy to be there, so you're going to need to do your best Cheshire Cat impression, even if the place is a relegation threatened shithole. A big, sincere smile like Ricky Lambert above will immediately endear you to fans and can even buy you some time if you make a crap start at your new club. On the other hand, looking completely miserable, as if you can't believe how your life ever got to this point, can make you out to be a right dick, ie. Emmanuel Frimpong.
2. Location, Location, Location.
If you have just signed for Real Madrid and have a big enough draw so that you can fill out the Santiago Bernabeu stadium, do it! If you can't... Don't.
The location of your transfer unveiling pic is key. The backdrop to your first moment a player at your new club, where you are at that time might be your new supporters first impression of you. We suggest keeping it simple, like Juan Mata at Carrington:
Rather than looking like a bit of a knob at the local marina, like Radamel Falcao:
Also, and you should already know this, don't hang your new shirt out of a hotel window. Michael Jackson ruined that for everyone, so just don't.
3. Choose Your Company Wisely.
Be careful who you have standing beside you on your big moment. If it's somebody who the fans are not behind, then it can't end well.
Also ineffective is someone completely random, like a doctor.
Club legends always go down well.
4. Dress Sense.
Ok, we get it, you're a young rich footballer, you've just signed for a new club and have some money to blow, good for you, but for the love of god keep it simple for the transfer unveiling pic. That means no flashy suits:
No massive coats (Oasis or otherwise):
And no flashy jewellery.
And CERTAINLY don't make it look like you are showing up for your first day of transition year work experience (Arsenal seem to have a knack for this):
Just keep it casual, or play it safe with some club training gear.
5. Accessories.
Keep these to a minimum at all costs, these will be reasons to ridicule you at a later date. Hats and scarfs are always risky, but holding up a cardboard cut-out of a sticker-book? No.
If you HAVE to hold something, keep it relevant, like a football, but DON'T have 5 people hold the ball like you are the NBA players in Space Jam when they get their powers back.
6. Don't Lean On Things.
Seriously, why is this so commonplace? It makes for a very awkward photo.
Liverpool are notorious for this.
7. Don't look like a fat old woman.
So there you have it. Much of the list is common sense you would think, but until this guide is widely accepted we will continue to see goofy transfer unveiling pictures for the foreseeable future.
