Like any fantasy football manager, I submitted my final lineup on Gameweek 1 of the Premier League season with full confidence that I was destined for a 60+ point total and a spot at the top of many of my private leagues.
However, like about 90% of fantasy football managers, it didn't quite work out as I had planned. I captained Eden Hazard, unable to see that he would phone-in the next four months of football, and while I had indeed backed Leicester to have a positive start to the season, I opted for Marc Albrighton instead of you.
Albrighton started well, and in my mind I had saved £1.0m, but it soon became obvious that I needed to boost the amount of Algerians in my team by 100%.
It wasn't until week four that I finally managed to get you into my team, and at the time I was worried that your luck would turn and I would be left red faced, but I discovered that you are not a vengeful man, as you accepted my wish to join the bandwagon with open arms.
Actually, in that first game you only got me one point, but the 11 points in both of the next two games made me know you were the real deal.
Since then it has been paradise. At the time of writing my fantasy team is just outside of the top 300 in the Balls.ie league, which boasts over 5,300 members, and anyone who is a regular listener to the Balls.ie Fantasy Football Podcast will know that I've been very happy with my team for the last two months. That is largely down to one man, and I'm sure by now you know who that is.
Just take a look at your stats in terms of fantasy football production:
You have already smashed your total of 102 for the entirety of last season and show no signs of slowing down. That means so much to me.
Over the weeks players have come and gone, I famously had Salomon Rondon leading the line for me at one stage, such was the struggle for consistency in attacking players all over the league, but week after week, you were there with a smile and at the very least an assist.
Kevin De Bruyne has been decent, Mesut Ozil has been outstanding, but neither could hold a candle to what you have done so far, and will continue to do, I am sure of it. There is one thing that puzzles me, however.
No, it's not the fact that your price has risen from £5.5m to £7.0m, which is still outrageously undervalued, by the way, it's that other stat.
64.5% of fantasy football managers have you in their team. What are those other 35.5% doing with their life?
Granted, you are the most selected fantasy football midfielder by a long way (Mesut Ozil at 48.7% of teams is the next closest, in case you were wondering), but that number should be closer to 99%.
I will spread the word of your fantasy glory. Last week I captained Harry Kane at home to Newcastle, and I got what I deserved.. Absolutely nothing. This week I ensured that I wouldn't make the same mistake, and I told the listeners on our podcast that I would be doing so. Your return?
I wanted to express my gratitude for your continued production. As a football fan it's truly heartwarming to see somebody enjoying their football, and playing the game in the style that you are, but as a fantasy football manager, I can't really put into words how it feels to check livescore each week just knowing that your name will be there, sat next to a little icon of a football or bracketed beside Jamie Vardy's name to indicate your fine work.
Keep it up, keep believing, and thank you for being you.
