The Daily Mail have long-committed the Joycean principle of capturing every banal detail of daily life to professional footballer, meaning their tremendously popular website is drenched in headlines chronicling players going about their daily lives, doing boring things.
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But can you separate fact from fiction? Here we present to you a series of headlines - some appeared on the Daily Mail website, while others have been entirely made up.
What's a good score? That depends on whether you want to be seen as a Daily Mail reader or not...
