In advance of last night's Euro 2016 qualifier against Georgia, we attempted to predict exactly what would happen in the game.
You may have noticed many people (including us - you've got to push it, sure) tweeting feverishly about the astounding success of these predictions. The primary emotion in the office here is regret that we didn't go to the bookies with any of these predictions.
But some of the more demanding, Roy Keane-minded folk in here are pointing fingers at those of us responsible for the predictions - why did you say McClean would only get booked in the 68th minute when he got booked in the 75th minute? It's not good enough type thing.
As a mea culpa to those of you who expect better, here is the complete list of our predictions and those we got right or wrong.
Our prediction:
7 mins - Looking dangerously slick on the ball, the Georgians will give us an early scare. A corner will almost go in direct. Shay Given will push the ball against the post and reclaim it while everyone else exhales.
The reality:
7 mins - We were overly detailed with this one, though the Georgians did look smooth on the ball early doors. On the seventh minute after a neat bit of play, Ronnie Whelan remarked that 'I think Georgia have showed, they're not just a big team. They can get the ball down. They can pass it. This could be a long night.'
Our prediction:
20 mins - Someone will tweet about how poor this soccer lark looks compared to the hurling yesterday.
The reality:
17 mins - In truth, this prediction didn't stretch our powers of clairvoyance overly much. As Eamon Dunphy might say, this is the Middlesbrough at home of predictions. You've got to be getting it right.
Three minutes before we had asserted it would happen, @freepapayas obliged. Though her preference for Garlic over soccer was something we didn't anticipate.
This Ireland v Georgia match is atrocious, as per usual when Ireland is playing ? much prefer Garlic or Hurling, the pace is faster
— Leah (@freepapayas) September 7, 2015
She did offer this clarification after.
@iamshane41 oh jaysus ? damn auto-correct, I thought it would've learned by now ? — Leah (@freepapayas) September 7, 2015
Our prediction:
30 mins - An increasingly exasperated Ronnie Whelan will say something along the lines of 'we need to get it down and play more'.
The reality:
31 mins - Ronnie made no such call in the thirtieth minute, a minute in which George Hamilton's voice exclusively filled the airwaves. In the following minute, Ronnie did react to the news that Scotland had equalised against Germany with the comment 'that doesn't make good reading, especially the way we're playing at the moment.'
Our prediction:
39 mins - Robbie Keane will attempt another dummy run which fails to come off. At this stage, defenders are more shocked if he attempts to control the ball.
The reality:
39 mins - Robbie left the dummy runs behind him yesterday. The minute was taken up a free kick wide on the right which was won by Jon Walters.
Our prediction:
44 mins - Someone inside the ground will tweet their annoyance at the loudness of the stadium PA announcer.
The reality:
90 mins - Off on this one. The only tweets about the announcer were bursting with positivity.
I love that the tannoy announcer in the Aviva Stadium sounds enthusiastic about everything.
— Ryan Parsons (@ryanparsons83) September 7, 2015
Our prediction:
HALF-TIME - Still 0-0. Eamon Dunphy will lay the blame for all Ireland's ills at James McCarthy's door. The rest of the panel will agree but will be less emphatic in their disdain.
The reality:
HALF-TIME - The lads were generally critical but McCarthy emerged relatively unscathed - certainly when compared with previous Irish matches. though Brady and Giles did suggest that 'Hendrick and McCarthy have been on the periphery.'
Our prediction:
67 mins - James McClean will be brought on to deliver 'an injection of intensity'.
68 mins - James McClean receives a yellow card for a reckless lunge at the Georgian full back.
The reality:
74 mins - McClean was in fact sprung from the bench for Wes Hoolahan on the 74th minute. Ireland were 1-0 up and thus the need for an 'injection of intensity' was less acute.
74 mins - In addition to not getting the minute right, we didn't give McClean enough credit for just how fast he can get himself booked. We said it would take him a minute to get himself yellow carded but in fact he was even speedier in this regard.
McClean poleaxing an opposition player is now on a par with Vinnie Murphy's shouldering the opposition full back in Irish sporting ritual terms.
Our prediction
79 mins - Jonathan Walters will score after the Georgians make a miserable fist of attempting to clear a corner.
The reality
69 mins - Frankly dear readers, we're getting to much credit for this. Walters did score the only goal, true enough, but it came ten minutes earlier that we predicted, and is wasn't from a miscued clearance. Rather, it was from a wonderful bit of Jeff Hendrick skill.
Our prediction:
88 mins - Ronnie Whelan will struggle to pick Man of the Match. Will eventually plump for the goalscorer.
The reality:
89 mins - 'There's not been many magnificent performances all night. But I think I'll have to give Man of the Match to the man who's given us the goal which might go a long way to getting us to France.'
It was early in the 89th minute when he handed out Man of the Match.
Our prediction:
FULL-TIME: A 1-0 win. The lads will praise the result but express disdain for the performance. James McCarthy will get another blast. Liam Brady will assert that Giovanni Trapattoni's decision to ignore him for so long has been vindicated. Will utter more words of praise for Giovanni Trapattoni. He wont get a rise out of Dunphy however, who has moved on to other targets.
The reality:
FULL-TIME: Altogether more buoyant than we expected... Eamon Dunphy's bullishness about the German game was less surprising however.
