Transfer news never sleeps.
When the season ends, the transfer stories begin, and when the summer transfer window closes, the January transfer window stories begin. It's a neverending cycle.
By and large, football fans love transfer news and rumours. It allows them to dream, to think of what could be. Unfortunately, those that report this news, including ourselves to be fair, appear have a set collection of words that only ever seem to appear in transfer rumours, and these are the most infuriating:
"Preparing A Bid"
You can't just submit a bid without giving it a motivational talk first to make sure it has the desired effect, preparing a bid could be anything from drawing fancy pictures on the fax to put the receiving club in a good mood, or playing pump-up music so it arrives with an impact.
"Red Alert"
"Manchester United are on red alert after Thomas Muller was spotted looking in the general direction of someone wearing a United jersey" and the like are infuriating. Red alert is a military term, and the imagery it provides of the club panicking and waiting for any further information at all is hyperbole at it's best.
"On The Radar"
Today I read that PSG full-back Lucas Digne is on the radar of Liverpool FC. Imagine Brendan Rodgers in his office with a radar that scans Europe and marks full-backs that are looking for a move.
"On The Verge"
Being on the verge of a move to a new club can take anywhere from an hour to a year before moving off of said verge, in either direction.
"Hijacking A Bid"
The reality is that one club have made an offer for a player, so another club who were interested in him also lodge a bid. For some reason this is described like club officials from the second club have intercepted the fax and written their club's name on it instead.
"Come And Get Me Plea"
This just doesn't happen. Players don't plead for managers to sign them, instead their agent has secret illegal discussions with club officials, like a normal person. The only come and get me pleas I've ever heard of have been a hungover person looking for a lift from the random house they slept in last night.
"War Chest"
Why the amount of money a club has assigned to transfers is referred to as a war chest I will never know. "Louis Van Gaal has a £200m war chest"... That sounds like he has a collection of very rare and expensive weaponry.
"Lining Up A Bid"
Is their aim that bad? Can the bid miss? This is basically a way of saying "We think this is going to happen".
Any more we've missed that irk you in particular? Let us know on twitter @ballsdotie or on Facebook.
