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Breaking: Sutton Ask Pie-Eating Goalkeeper To Resign

Gavin Cooney
By Gavin Cooney
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The cup, whose magic often runneth over, has turned dark.

Sutton United's reserve goalkeeper Wayne Shaw has become a martyr to b****r. He shot to prominence last night during Sutton United's 2-0 defeat to Arsenal. The 46-year-old was once a teammate of Alan Shearer's, and the BBC pundit mocked Shaw on the BBC last night:

I followed my dreams to the Premier League. He followed his to the burger van.

Shearer was roasted online, but this was only the beginning of Shaw's fame. He popped to the bar at half-time, and then, once Sutton had made their three subs, Shaw decided to eat a pie on the bench.

via GIPHY

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Many people showered Shaw in praise for such a move, but some did criticise him. A betting company had offered odds on Shaw eating a pie on the bench before the game, and, as a result, he was investigated by the FA over his possibly breaking gambling rules.

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Shaw told BBC breakfast that "I thought I would give them (the betting company) a bit of banter and let's do it".

This utterly mental story now has anther act, however, as Sutton have asked Shaw to tender his resignation to the club. He accepted, and is believed to have been in tears.

Sutton manager Paul Doswell told Sky News: 'We spoke — he's absolutely devastated. Tears down the phone.'

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See Also: 'You Cheeky Bastard' - Mark Kennedy Details Unknown Fall-Out With Brian Kerr

 

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