You may only have a passing interest in football, but with the World Cup upon us now is the time to hone your meagre footballing knowledge, if only for the inevitable water cooler chat the day after a big game.
The Bluffer's Guide To Group G
Belgium
Nickname: The Red Devils
Manager: Roberto Martinez
Belgium have quality throughout their squad with Eden Hazard, Kevin De Bruyne and Romelu Lukaku just the tip of the iceberg. There has been grumblings about how Roberto Martinez sets up his team, with De Bruyne criticising the Spaniards tactics in their friendly against Mexico last November.
The biggest controversy of Roberto Martinez's reign as coach has been his exile of Roma midfielder Radja Nainggolan, the former Everton manager calling his omission as a 'tactical' one, but it may have more to do with Nainggolan's personality than anything else.
Martinez plays with three at the back, and with Jan Vertonghen, Toby Alderweireld and Vincent Kompany the likely picks, the Red Devils will have one of the best defences in the tournament and should top the group and progress to at least the quarter finals.
FIFA Ranking: 3
Thing to say to make yourself sound clever: This team is crying out for Radja Nainggolan.
Meaningless platitude to spout every now and again: Belgium are my dark horses for this tournament.
Useless stat to churn out to give a semblance of expertise: Belgium and Germany's respective tallies of 43 goals were the most ever registered in a single European Qualifying group for a World Cup.
England
Nickname: The Three Lions
Manager: Gareth Southgate
FIFA Ranking: 12
England come into this tournament will the least fanfare of any of their team's over the past 10 years. Gareth Southgate's men have on paper one of the most inexperienced squads in recent memory.
They do however, have a world class forward in Harry Kane and if the 24-year-old can replicate his club form for the national side, then England will be a dangerous proposition. The Three Lions will also look to Kane's team mate Dele Alli, as well as the likes of Jesse Lingard and Marcus Rashford to penetrate defences.
England's main concern is a lack of quality in midfield with Jordan Henderson and Eric Dier symptomatic of a lack of invention in the middle of the park. That being said it would be a disaster if England didn't manager to escape the group stage.
Thing to say to make yourself sound clever: Southgate has to bring one of Lallana or Wilshire, there is absolutely no cutting edge in that midfield.
Meaningless platitude to spout every now and again: England might do well at this tournament, if the media circus doesn't get to them.
Useless stat to churn out to give a semblance of expertise: England had the joint-best defensive record during European World Cup qualification alongside Spain, conceding three goals in 10 games.
Tunisia
Nickname: The Eagles of Carthage
Manager: Nabil Maâloul
FIFA Ranking: 21
Sunderland's Wabhi Khazri is the only recognisable name in the Tunisia squad and the the 27-year-old will lead the line for the Eagles in the absence of star player Youssef Msakni who suffered a season-ending cruciate ligament injury before the tournament.
Maâloul will set his side up to be compact, and hard to break down and will rely heavily on set pieces in order to advance in this competition.
Thing to say to make yourself sound clever: Youssef Msakni missing out is like Argentina losing Messi.
Meaningless platitude to spout every now and again: A lot of these players play in the Tunisian league, which wouldn't be great quality to be honest.
Useless stat to churn out to give a semblance of expertise: Since winning their first ever game at a World Cup in 1978 (3-1 v Mexico), Tunisia have failed to win their 11 subsequent games in the competition (D4 L7).
Panama
Nickname: The Red Tide
Manager: Hernán Darío Gómez
FIFA Ranking: 55
The president of Panama declared a national holiday when the national side secured their place at their first World Cup, which will give you some insight into the island's footballing pedigree.
Gomez's men will put it up to their opponents however, with physicality and aggression two traits which have seen them beat the USA in World Cup qualification. Expect The Red Tide's game plans against Belgium and England to be very defensive.
Thing to say to make yourself sound clever: Many of Panama's players are well past their prime, they could end up as the whipping boys of Group G.
Meaningless platitude to spout every now and again: These could be a potential banana skin.
Useless stat to churn out to give a semblance of expertise: Panama qualified for the 2018 World Cup finals, despite having a negative goal difference in their final group stage of CONCACAF qualifying.
