Over the years, Roy has perfected and honed a comic persona which might be called 'deadpan psycho'. Not that we're calling a Keane a psycho (we say with some alacrity). Rather, it's clear Roy is playing around with our perceptions of him when he gives us his more memorable lines.
Comedy is often about the release of tension. There is no greater proof of this than a Roy Keane press conference where the tension is such that the press pack are fit to burst into gales of laughter at the slightest instance of levity.
There is no question that Roy is one of Ireland's finest comedian footballers. Jason McAteer may play well with the more mainstream audience but Roy is the man who leaves the hacks in stitches.
Here, we give you 10 of Roy's finest quotes. We're not familiar with the nature of the ghosting process, but Roddy Doyle might have had a hand in the construction of some of these quotes, even if the underlying sentiments were Roy's.
On Matt Holland
"For me, Matty is as English as David Beckham. He played for Ireland and he obviously has the roots. But he played for Ipswich in a play-off final in 2000 and he was singing 'God Save the Queen' at the top of his voice. I don't think he could have sung it any louder. Some of the other Irish lads saw him too so, at the next couple of international matches, we were going 'Turn that rebel music up a bit.'"
*We suggest that Matt Holland learn a few rebel songs. The FAI have a balladeer on the books, we understand. Big Jack couldn't get enough of Sean South and used to bawl Mick Byrne out of it if he forgot the CD on road trips. And then there's classic which had an unforgettable rendition in a pub near Lansdowne two and a bit years ago.
On Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink's pre-match eating routine
"What's up with me? What's up with me? We're fucking playing Holland tomorrow in a World Cup qualifier. Do you think Jimmy Floyd-Hasselbaink is eating fucking cheese sandwiches tonight?"
On Abba
"They were going out to play a match, men versus men; testosterone was high. You've got to hit people at pace. Fucking Dancing Queen. I wouldn't have minded if it had been one of Abba's faster ones."
On Robbie Savage
"So I got Robbie's mobile number and rang him. It went to his voicemail: 'Robbie - whazzup!' like the Budweiser ad. I never called him back. I thought: I can't be fuckin' signing that."
* Suffice to say, Roy was neither chilling out nor having a Bud when Robbie attempted, in vain, to call him back.
On Celtic
"When I got on the bus John Hartson, a really good guy, was already sitting there and he was eating a packet of crisps - with a fizzy drink. I said to myself: Welcome to Hell."
On his Manchester United company car
"When the paperwork had finally been sorted and I'd given back the car – this was three months after the last meeting, so I got an extra three months out of it: I drove some fucking miles in that car – every little victory is vital"
*We don't know where he was going. We like to think that often times he drove with no destination in mind for the sole of purpose of clocking up the mileage.
On getting down to business at Sunderland
"I had a leather chair that swung around, a swivel chair. For the first few days I used to swing around on it. If any of the players or the staff had peeped through the office window they would have seen me going "Weeehhhh!"
On the showdown with Reading's Kevin Dillon
"The game at Reading, just before Christmas, was the only time I really lost my temper as a manager. I’d lost my temper before – but I’d used my temper. This time I used physical force. I grabbed a staff member, put his head on a table, and tried to pull his tie off. But he was a Reading staff member, not one of ours...
They’d (Sunderland backroom staff) followed me in – after I’d left. ‘All right, lads?’ And somebody said, ‘Your manager has just attacked one of our staff.’ And apparently Raimond van der Gouw, our goalkeeping coach, said, ‘Well, can we still have a sandwich?'"
On Rio Ferdinand
"Just because you are paid £120,000-a-week and play well for 20 minutes against Tottenham, you think you are a superstar."
* It's fair to say that the most famous ever episode of MUTV's 'Play the Pundit' was the one that didn't go to air. Bless the heart of the controversy averse producer who booked Roy to analyse Manchester United's 4-1 defeat to Middlesbrough without contemplating the dangers beforehand.
His most famous quote of the lot
"Away from home our fans are fantastic, I’d call them the hardcore fans. But at home they have a few drinks and probably the prawn sandwiches, and they don’t realise what’s going on out on the pitch. I don’t think some of the people who come to Old Trafford can spell ‘football’, never mind understand it."
*Shamed a generation of match-going corpo's who now give the prawns a miss and opt for the smoked salmon instead.
