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Ashley Cole Heads West To End Career With Robbie Keane

Gavin Cooney
By Gavin Cooney
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LA Galaxy have confirmed that they have signed Ashley Cole - pictured above enjoying himself on top, top, top Sky One show A League of Their Own - from Roma.

Cole has won the Premier League four times, along with the European Cup and a remarkable seven FA cups.

The LA Galaxy coach Bruce Arena had this to say about the capture of Cole:

Ashley is one of the world’s most successful defenders and has played at the highest level of competition throughout his career.

He can provide our defense with valuable experience.

We look forward to his contribution to our club this season.

Interestingly, Cole is not one of Galaxy's designated players. For those untrained on the economics of Major League Soccer, the league operates a salary cap, although are allowed to breach the salary cap to pay  three 'designated players' in each squad.

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Galaxy's designated players slots are currently filled by Mexico's Giovanni Dos Santos, Existentialism's Steven Gerrard and Robbie Keane's LA Galaxy's Robbie Keane.

So if Cole isn't going to America for the money, so why is he going?

A cynic might suggest he fancies America's lax gun controls.

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But then we're not cynics.

See Also: Pato Arrives On The Cheap As Chelsea Continue Their Incredible Record Of Selling Players

See Also: Why 'A League Of Their Own' Is A Load Of Insufferable Nonsense

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