The American Samoan National Football team won their first match ever yesterday. They beat Tonga 2-1. The Island nation are FIFA's lowest ranked team. They once lost 31-0 to Australia, which is really quite pathetic but I wouldn't say that to their faces.
They also have a transgender woman playing center back. A cheeky loan move to Chelsea for her in January, perhaps? I think he'd make the perfect defensive partner for John Terry....