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A Loving Tribute To The Glory Of The Hurricanes...

Conor Neville
By Conor Neville
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Led by their 12 year old owner Amanda Carey and very evocatively named Scottish coach Jock Stone, the Hispanola Hurricanes were the leading club in the breakaway World Soccer League. An extremely cosmopolitan band of talented, fun-loving, sometimes absent minded but essentially good-hearted pros, the Hurricanes were notoriously slow starters in games but their abundant talent shone invariably through in the end.

The Hurricanes had a longstanding rivalry with the Garkos Gorgons, a team owned by the unscrupulous, pony-tailed meglomaniac, Stavros Garkos who, perhaps unwisely, only recruited players from the ranks of the criminal underworld. Garkos, an oligarch with a bewildering array of financial interests and an inveterate schemer who always had a number of shady money-making rackets on the go at any one time, went to extraordinary lengths to steal the Hurricanes title as the No. 1 team in the WSL. These included a host of incredibly serious indiscretions, all of which went mystifyingly unpunished by the football authorities (and indeed the civil authorities).

The Gorgons best player was their tough-tacking (like all their players, he was tough-tackling) midfielder Genghis Khan. Their home ground was situated, improbably, in a volcano and their supporters wore actual Viking hats at games, apparently glorying in their reputation as the bad boys of the World Soccer League.

The Hurricanes, meanwhile were skippered by the blonde golden boy from the US, Cal Casey and boasted in French striker, Papillon, arguably the most talented player in the World Soccer League.

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A monument to diversity, the team contained a Brazilian, a Japanese player, two rather petty and dour German twins, and a pair of English players, one the rather atypical Napper Thompson who was fond of poetry and sci-fi, two passions which don't often reside in the one person, and Georgie Wright, who despite not wearing the armband, invariably contested the coin toss at the start of the game.

The Hurricanes' astonishingly bitter rivalry with the Gorgons formed the core of the programme.

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The two teams played each other with an astonishing degree of regularity. In all, they must have faced each other almost 52 times across the series' 52 episode run. The games followed a remarkably set pattern, with the Hurricanes invariably winning 3 - 2, having trailed 2 - 0 at half-time. This held true for every game except two legged cup ties, where the Hurricanes made a habit of losing the first leg before recovering in the second leg.

Most intriguingly, the makers of the Hurricanes paid their dues to Irish club football and numbered among the elite of the World Soccer League are a team called the Timborary Shamrocks. Footage of their clash with the Hurricanes is hard to come by. If someone were to direct it our way, we would be exceptionally grateful.

Read more: The 12 Greatest Fictional Irish Sportspeople

 

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