The great rollercoaster of the Premier league returns this weekend and with it comes the myriad of commentators and pundits who all share the same, tiny collection of cliches. Here's the soundtrack to the winter. Unbelievable Geoff.
1. He’s got a great left peg.
He’s completely one footed.
2. He’s a tricky little player.
He can’t cross for s***.
3. They will aim to keep it tight early doors.
They won’t pass their eighteen yard line for 90 minutes.
4. We know that he’s not that type of player.
He’s exactly that type of player.
5. He plays on the shoulder of the last defender.
He’s constantly offside.
6. This is end to end stuff.
Everyone has stopped defending.
7. Fabregas is playing in the false nine role.
Fabregas is playing up front but I’ve read more than you about football.
8. He just didn’t catch it right.
He shinned it into the stands.
9. He’s got a great touch for a big man.
He’s rubbish in the air.
10. There are no easy games in the Premier League.
There are loads of easy games in the Premier League.
11. This game needs a goal.
This is a rubbish game.
12. The game isn’t played on paper.
City are going to demolish Reading today.
13. That’s the mark of champions.
This is the jammiest win of the season.
14. I’ve seen those given.
I’ve no idea if that was a penalty or not.
15. This is a six pointer.
This is a huge three pointer.
16. He’s worked his socks off.
He’s crap in possession.
17. They are cancelling each other out.
This is a nailed on 0-0.
18. That’s meat and drink to him.
All he does is head the ball.
19. He’s got to hit the target there.
That’s a shocking miss.
20. That’s the magic of the Premier League.
Wigan have drawn with West Ham.
