The Premier League got back underway last weekend as football fans got their fix after the cold turkey of the a post-World Cup lull. There's a lot of exciting teams in the division this term, with Unai Emery and Maurizio Sarri intriguing additions to the top six and with the turmoil at Man United, and optimism at Liverpool there are many fascinating narratives to follow for the 2018/19 season.
As well as that Fulham and Wolves have splashed the cash upon their return to the top flight, but one team that can fuck back off to the Championship is Cardiff City. And here are ten reasons why.
1. Neil Warnock
He's one manager you just love to hate.
2. Neil Warnock looks like Livia Soprano
Every time I gaze upon Warnock's grizzled features I am reminded of Tony Soprano's manipulative and poisonous auld one.
3. They're definitely going to finish last
I know there's only been one game of the Premier League played so far, I know anything can happen from now until the end of the season and any predictions made at this stage of the season is foolish. But mark my words, put the wife and kids on it, Cardiff City will finish rock bottom of the Premier League. And the worst part is they'll get a lucky day against one of the big teams which will
4. Neil Warnock
Could you imagine if Cardiff beat the drop? He'd be damn near insufferable.
5. They have shite sponsors
Now, it's not that I find the idea of visiting Malaysia reprehensible but jaysus I could have designed that graphic, its literally just the Helvetica font.
6. They'll ruin Harry Arter
Irish international Harry Arter made a late loan move to the Welsh side after the midfielder fell out of favour with Eddie Howe. But you just know playing in a relegation dogfight with one of the worst (if not the worst squads) in the Premier League will not do any good for the 28-year-old or indeed the Irish national team.
7. Neil Warnock
He hates shaking people's hands. What a monster.
8. Sam Allardyce will inevitably take the job Warnock gets sacked midway through the season
We'll get to Christmas Cardiff will be in the relegation places and the axe will fall on Warnock's head, and with Vincent Tan desperate to secure the Bluebirds Premier League status the job will almost definitely go to Big Sam Allardyce and one annoying bastard will be replaced by another.
9. Neil Warnock will inevitably appear on Monday Night Football where he gives his excuse for being sacked
Fresh out of a job, Warnock will follow the trend of coaches finessing their PR skills by coming on MNF or BT Sport in order to complain about why he was sacked. Limited funds, questionable refereeing and bad luck will be proffered as excuses as the 69-year-old old puts himself in the shop window once again.
10. Neil Warnock
I really can't stress this enough.
