How do you buy a Christmas gift for the person who has everything?
Invent one that doesn't exist.
Having let the last minute Christmas present shopping panic get the best of us here at Balls.ie, we let our mind wander and came up with 7 Christmas gift ideas that don't actually exist, but we really really wish they did.
And here they are:
Dream Team: The Ultimate Collection (Series 1-10 Boxset)
WHY IS THIS NOT A THING!? Sky seriously need to just shut up and take our money on this one.
Imagine the look on the face of that Harchester United fan that you have made so happy when he or she unwraps all the gloriously ridiculous hours of Dream Team to view at their leisure. From Luis Amor Rodriguez's affair with Linda Block, to one of the several transport disasters, to Jamie Parker taking the team hostage, a complete Dream Team boxset absolutely needs to happen.
For now you'll have to make do with our favourite ever storylines from the show.
EA Sports Rugby 15
Rugby 15 is indeed a game, and it is due out next year, but it looks... Pretty crap. So we are left to wish that EA Sports didn't completely abandon the sport of rugby. Because they did.
Imagine if EA Sports never gave up on rugby. Imagine a "Be A Pro" mode where you control one player in one position on the pitch... Imagine a bloody Rugby Ultimate Team mode!
"Clear Eyes" - The Autobiography of Coach Eric Taylor
Ok, admittedly this is the most far-fetched of our imaginary gifts, as Coach Eric Taylor is not a real person, but we won't let that stop us dreaming.
A book that chronicles the life of the greatest High School football coach the World has ever seen would fly off the shelves. His upbringing, his playing career, how he met Tammy, getting the Dillon Panthers job...
Damn, we really want to read that book now.
A Sir Alex Ferguson Endorsed Hair-dryer
The ultimate gag-gift, or just a thoughtful present for men with long hair, the Sir Alex Ferguson endorsed hair-dryer would no doubt be a best seller.
The Honey-Badger To English Dictionary
For the rugby fan in your life, give the gift of being able to understand a Nick Cummins interview.
Undoubtedly the most entertaining character in rugby at the moment, Aussie winger Nick "The Honey-Badger" Cummins regularly produces amazing quotes from his interview in the most Australian way possible, and now, you can actually understand what he's on about.
Paul McGinley's Ryder Cup Captain 2014
Features:
-Mandatory watching of every European/US Tour event in the calendar year, no participation, just observation.
-Call players who didn't make the cut and let them down gently.
-Picking of the team suits.
-Driving golf buggies around Gleneagles.
-Bonus mini-game: Bring Victor Dubuisson for a weekend away on Eddie Jordan's yacht.
Yeah, we want to play this game.
Tommy Bowe "Shlow Down Tommy" T-Shirt
Easily the easiest of our imaginary gifts to make a reality, we don't have the time, nor the patience, to actually do it. Instead we made a mock-up of a t-shirt that Lifestyle Sports would simply not be able to keep in stock.
Unfortunately we'll have to keep dreaming.
