Where is this season going to?
This weekend, we officially entered the final third of the Premier League calendar, and thus far, it's definitely been one of the better editions.
Whilst it almost seems like yesterday that clubs scrambled to get deals for players over the line, in the freakishly tight space between the end of last summer's World Cup and the brought-forward close of the Premier League Transfer Window on August 9th, six months have now passed.
The twenty top-flight clubs managed to part with a cool £1.24 billion between them, the third summer in a row where the £1 billion threshold was left far, far behind.
The clamour to spend, spend, spend is something most chairmen can't get away from - Daniel Levy aside, of course, but plenty of investments have proved a little ill-advised.
Here are five of the biggest urinations-against-the-walls who have left fans tearing their hair out:
Joe Hart
As Burnley prepared for a long run in the Europa League, Sean Dyche's plum business of the summer was taking Joe Hart to Turf Moor. Unfortunately for Head & Shoulders Hart, those special nights in Europe came to an abrupt end, after being dumped out of continental competition by Olimpiacos before we'd even seen the back of August.
The stopper did win the club's Player of the Month in September and October, but by then, things were already spiralling badly for the two-time Premier League medal winner. After picking the ball out of the net 29 times in an eleven-game run, which included nine losses, between October 20th and St. Stephen's Day, Dyche had to be relieved at the return to fitness of Tom Heaton for their final game of 2018 against West Ham. They won 2-0 and Hart hasn't seen a minute since.
Jean-Michael Seri
Mitrovic aside, each of Fulham's summer signings is well worth a place on this list. But given the hype that surrounded Seri's switch to Craven Cottage from Nice and the fact that the West London club parted with £25 million to capture the Ivorian, he has won the chance to represent the Lillywhites on this particular summary of shite.
Brought in with the promise of protecting the back four with a combative all-action presence in midfield, the only 'presence' Johnny Mick has been dishing out, come in the form of gifts to opposition attacking units week in week out.
He also pissed us all off with this self-affirming Insta post.
Erik Durm
Now, who's going to own up that they'd either forgot or didn't have a scooby, that the German World Cup winner was on the payroll at the John Smith's Stadium. There's no shame in it, we did too.
But the full-back has been that much of a non-entity at struggling Huddersfield, we aren't going to be too hard on ourselves.
David Wagner was able to poach the 26-year-old from former employers Borussia Dortmund after an injury-blighted four years for the defender, since making Joachim Low's victorious side in 2014. And OK, after knee, hip and ankle injuries, it's a wonder the man is even standing. But that's scant consolation to the Championship bound Terriers fans.
Naby Keita
N'Golo Kanté has probably been the single most effective player in the Premier League over the last three or four seasons, most people would agree. So when Liverpool agreed to terms with RB Leipzig at the beginning of last season to sign the equally dynamic and highly rated Naby Keita to fill the box-to-box role in their often overrun midfield, Scousers everywhere rejoiced in the certainty that this was the final piece to the title-winning puzzle.
Keita spent a final season in German football, before completing his much-awaited £52 million switch - and a fine season it was, contributing nine goals and seven assists from midfield, as well as three red cards. But you need a bit of that, right?
The Reds faithful haven't been treated to even a sliver of that drama, as Keita has spent much of this title tilt season dipping in and out of the team, with niggling injuries and anonymous performances outweighing attacking returns. Things may be turning for the Guinean, however, after a run of four starts in the league. The 24-year-old can redefine a below average season with an influential final third, as the Merseysiders chase domestic and European glory.
Fred
There are grounds for the guards to get involved here in some shape or form. Either United have had the piss totally ripped from them by Shakhtar Donetsk, or else there's some boy running around Manchester pretending to be Brazilian professional footballer Fred.
José Mourinho's marquee signing of last summer cost the club north of £50 million, and in return came the promise of what some broadcasters described as a mini Fernandinho.
Thus far, Red Devils fans have been treated to a little more Kleberson and a little less Fernandinho by the Samba star.
Struggling to adapt to the Premier League after his successful stint in Ukraine, the midfielder's time at Old Trafford has been underscored by some truly brutal performances, with an inability to retain possession United's fans biggest gripe.
Having not featured for Solskjaer since the FA Cup win over Reading last month, he is the quintessential transfer flop of the season.
