In case you haven't heard we've launched our brand spanking new android app and now all you need to do is download it. The app will have all the usual Balls content along with some special features only available to app users.
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However, there are some things the app won't be able to do. Here are just a few:
- This app cannot make tea. Despite hours of testing not one single cup was produced
- This app will not answer to the name Nigel. It has no such capability to reply
- This app will refuse to be operated by a seagull if your phone is robbed by a seagull. (patent pending)
- This app won't help you put up your tent at a festival, you will have to do it yourself
- The Balls.ie app has no eject button
- This app cannot be used on a selfie stick, both the stick and the phone will fire into the sky if tried
- This app cannot intentionally throw shade at anyone
- The app will not quote Fr Ted at random but this is a feature that could be built upon request
- This app is not an equal opportunities employer
- This app does not provide craft beers
There are plenty more things this app can't do. To find out what it can do, get your life together and install it or Dave downstairs will be dead disappointed.
Not enough links to where you can find it? Here's another one.
