Spare a thought for Manchester United fans this Christmas. While most football fans would consider United supporters to be spoiled rotten by their success over the past 20 or so years, there is one constant nagging problem that has popped up in recent seasons which torments and angers the Old Trafford faithful, and that is the unusually high percentage of transfer rumours that are nothing other than complete bollocks.
Yes, other clubs get transfer bullshit on a daily basis, but there sheer enormity of the tidal wave of transfer stories that are plucked from thin air and passed of as United news are enough to drive any football fan to insanity.
In an effort to prepare our readers for the storm that lies ahead, here are 10 players that Manchester United are almost certainly going to be linked with in the January transfer window, despite Ed Woodward being quoted as saying there will not be a lot of business. We can't let actual quotes get in the way of some juicy transfer goss, can we?
Kevin Strootman - AS Roma
It's no secret that Louis Van Gaal absolutely loves Kevin Strootman. The midfield general was named captain of Holland under LVG while still playing at PSV, and he was so central to the Dutch World Cup plans that Van Gaal ripped up the team sheet and went with an entirely different system once it became apparent that Strootman would miss the World Cup. Van Gaal is said to be monitoring Strootman's recovery at Roma, and as he is now back playing, expect the papers to go to town with the quotes from sources close to the player.
Diego Godin - Atletico Madrid
Brace yourselfs, the "Man United make shock swoop for defender" stories are coming. Manchester United's defence has been totally ravaged by injuries this season, and even when they can manage to field a back four with four actual defenders, they haven't been totally convincing. When you couple this with all the awful jokes about United having the front of a Ferrari and the back of a Nissan Micra in reference to their signing of big name attackers in the Summer, then you get a recipe for transfer bullshit, and it has already begun regarding Diego Godin, with many sources claiming United want to trigger the 28 year old's €36m release clause.
Bruno Peres - Torino
Bruno Peres scored an absolutely brilliant goal this weekend. He is a right-back. These two facts will surely be enough to ensure we hear all about how United are "preparing" a £30m bid for a man nobody had heard about last week.
Wesley Sneijder - Galatasaray
Because what even is a transfer window without 'Sneijder to United'? Needless to say it's never going to happen. Probably.
Ron Vlaar - Aston Villa
Dutch. Defender. Likes LVG. Out of contract in the Summer. This transfer rumour writes itself, expect to see it a lot, despite it being a very unlikely deal because, well, how many 29 year old defenders have made the switch from Villa to Man United?
Mats Hummels - Borussia Dortmund
Mats Hummels is a name thrown about by a lot of people who claim to know exactly how to solve Manchester United's inconsistency. Hummels helped Germany to a World Cup win in Brazil last Summer, but after being named captain of Dortmund as a big middle finger to any potential suitors, Hummels and Dortmund have had a shocking start to the season and currently lie at the very bottom of the Bundesliga table. This turbulent time for BVB will no doubt bring rumours by the truck-load, although it is likely he will stay and try to pull the club out of the mess they are in.
Karim Benzema - Real Madrid
Manchester United will not sign Karem Benzema this January, but the rumours are already circling regarding the Frenchman who apparently hates winning everything and scoring every week at Madrid and wants to come to United and compete with Van Persie, Rooney, and Falcao for a place. Seems legit.
Gerard Pique - Barcelona
The former United player has enjoyed exceptional success at his home club since he left United in 2009, but could he be set for a return to Old Trafford under LVG? Apparently, yes. Expect to see Pique's name attacked to numerous articles linking him with a United move because he is a defender who hasn't openly stated he hates the club.
Juan Cuadrado - Fiorentina
One of the rumours that wouldn't go away this Summer was linking World Cup star Juan Cuadrado to Manchester United. The Colombian winger is clearly on the radar of Europe's top clubs, and would be an expensive signing, but ultimately an exciting gamble. Cuadrado decided to stay put during the summer, but expect to see lots of speculation this January transfer window.
Memphis Depay - PSV Eindhoven
Young. Dutch. Good. Three reasons why Memphis Depay is surely going to re-unite with Louis Van Gaal at Manchester United according to everyone this January. Another one who shone in Brazil, Depay is clearly on the verge of a move to a top European club, but the reason you will see him linked with Manchester United more than any other is because he's played for LVG before.
