You know things are quiet in the world of boxing when you're at this lark.
It's been one of the sport's most disappointing years in recent history, if not quite at home (things are certainly picking up in Ireland), then certainly abroad, with seemingly fewer fights than ever captivating the global audience. For Christ's sake, the sport is stuck so firmly in the mud that there's already rumblings of a Mayweather-Pacquiao rematch which literally nobody wants to see.
A lot rests on the shoulders of the fascinating light-heavyweight title scrap between Sergey Kovalev and Andre Ward before the year is out, and 2016 will surely improve as the heavyweight division morphs into a free-for-all and Keith Thurman prepares to throw down with Danny Garcia up at welterweight.
But fear not; until then, while the sweet science is currently struggling to entertain, let us pull a Robbie Williams and do it instead. For seemingly no reason under the sun, here are the Top 10 Pound for Pound boxers who bear a physical resemblance to their nicknames.
10: Eric 'Butterbean' Esch
Incredibly, cult hero 'Butterbean' still rocks into the ring for a bust-up every couple of years- this despite being 50 years old and carrying around 425lbs of weight, which would leave most teetering on the precipice of death.
The American was last seen boxing in an entertainment centre in New South Wales in 2013, when he was stopped in two rounds by a local fighter having literally broken the scales during weigh-in. A legendary one-punch KO artist, Butterbean's record stands at a surprisingly very respectable 77-10(58KOs).
9: Paulie 'The Magic Man' Malignaggi
Brooklyn's two-time world champion Paulie Malignaggi looks more like a street entertainer who would approach you with a tainted deck of cards than a professional fighter.
Malignaggi once famously 'tweeted between rounds' during his 9th round stoppage defeat over previously undefeated Vyacheslav Senchenko for the WBA world welterweight title.
As his professional career draws to a close at the age of 35, the renowned entertainer now moonlights as a highly regarded co-commentator on Showtime's boxing coverage. In July, he released a largely-acclaimed 90-second video explaining his need to continue fighting.
8: Alfredo 'El Perro' Angulo
Mexico's light-middleweight slugger Alfredo Angulo believes he so closely resembles a bulldog that he often wears doggy-collars into the ring. The big-hitter is certainly canine-like in his relentless pursuit of opponents around the ring. The first round of his defeat to James Kirkland in 2011 was among the most entertaining ever seen in a boxing ring.
7: Robert 'The Ghost' Guerrero
Considering he's a Californian of Mexican descent, Robert Guerrero may be the most eerily pale three-weight world champion in boxing history, hence his spooky moniker. 'The Ghost' has been in some memorable scraps in recent years, not least his defeat of Andre Berto in 2012.
6: 'Saint' George Groves
Were 'Saint' George not a boxer, he'd likely be found helping elderly ladies cross the bustling streets of his native London. On first appearance, butter wouldn't melt. In the ring, super-middleweight Groves is anything but holy. 'The Saint' couldn't quite banish 'The Cobra' in front of 80,000 fans at Wembley Stadium, and has since narrowly lost his third world title shot, but will be likely be canonised by his hometown of Hammersmith when he finally gets over the line either next year or beyond.
5: Marcos 'El Chino' Maidana
Argentinian welterweight Marcos Maidana is one of the pound for pound biggest hitters in the sport, and allegedly blew a tooth out of Floyd Mayweather's mouth during their rematch in September of 2014. Since then, Maidana has eaten himself into retirement, laughing his way to the bank after two big 'Money' fights.
He calls himself 'El Chino' because, in his own words, he believes he "looks like a Chinaman." Maidana has amassed a record of 31 KOs in his 35 victories, with only five defeats - two of which came versus Mayweather.
4: Saul 'Canelo' Alvarez
We know what you're thinking: Alvarez isn't exactly a traditional west Kerry name, but can we claim him? The red-headed Mexican's nickname translates as 'Cinnamon' in English. The 26-year-old Canelo turned to professional boxing aged 15, and has won 48 fights in the intervening 10 years, with 33 of those victories coming by way of knockout. His sole defeat came in his box office record-breaking bout with Floyd Mayweather.
That's all great, but again, can we claim him? We're suckers for a bit of Mexican history here at Balls HQ, and those as well-versed as ourselves will see Canelo and immediately think of 'Los Son Patricos,' or Those of St. Patrick- a predominantly Irish, 19th-century battalion who fought for Mexico in the Mexican-American War in the 1840s.
Speaking in 2011, Canelo said, "There might have been an Irish grandfather somewhere there in my past," before going on to say he would in fact be interested in fighting in Ireland one day. He's also an outspoken critic of one Conor McGregor. Croker?
3: Carl 'The Cobra' Froch
A bona fide legend of British boxing and future Hall of Famer, 'The Cobra' retains a resumé to rival that of any active fighter. Not only does he physically resemble a cobra, but he fought like one. The Sheriff of Nottingham seemed to smell fear before striking serpent-like spurts of venomous punches, overwhelming opponents with his swift attacks when opponents didn't see them coming. And just like that, I've overdone the whole cobra comparison.
Now retired, his recent nose job has seen him bumped from no.1 to no.3 in this ranking - for no reason other than it detracts from his cobra-ness.
2: Sergey 'Krusher' Kovalev
The unified world champion of the light-heavyweight division simply looks like a bad, bad man. And, in the ring at least, he is. Undefeated Russian Sergey 'Krusher' Kovalev has won 24 of his 28 bouts by stoppage, and only went 12 rounds for the first time in his 27th fight when he met the legendary Bernard Hopkins. A concussive boxer-puncher, the beast from the east is rapidly becoming one of the most feared fighters on the planet.
As a teenager, he witnessed the Russian mafia beat a kid to death. As a professional fighter, he killed a man himself - opponent Roman Simakov, in tragic circumstances back in 2011. He fights on, and has a career-defining, tantalising pound-for-pound Top 5 clash with Andre Ward later this month.
1: Guillermo 'El Chacal' Rigondeaux
Just looks a bit like a jackal, as his moniker suggests.
The pound-for-pound contender and all-time amateur boxing great sports a record of 17-0 in the pro ranks, with 11 wins coming by way of stoppage.
He is currently the WBA World super-bantamweight champion, and more importantly, features in The Eternal Love Affair Between Tea And Irish Sport.
