Some men were born in the wrong era... Brian O'Driscoll retired having won 80 of his 133 matches for Ireland. Before the 21st century, such numbers would have been unthinkable.
Here's a team made up of individuals from the dog days of Irish rugby, some of them hugely talented players who even featured on Lions tours, but who nonetheless have truly appalling win-loss ratios in an Irish jersey.
Conor O'Shea
Of all these players, O'Shea probably has the best win-loss record, however, a large proportion of his wins came against Romania (x 3), USA, Japan, and Georgia.
His Five Nations record reads; 15 appearances, 2 wins, 12 losses and a draw. He pips Kenny Murphy to the full-back position by virtue of being somewhat more high profile.
As with so many others from that era, O'Shea's greatest day in an Irish jersey came in Twickenham in 94. His record as a coach is superb, leading Harlequins out of the post-Dean Richards darkness and to the Aviva Premiership title in 2011/12.
O'Shea scored Leinster's first ever try in the Heineken Cup in 1995
Freddie McLennan
McLennan played 18 times for Ireland between 1977 and 1981. coming out of the winning side on just two occasions, against Scotland in '78, on Tony Ward's spectacular debut, and against England in 1979.
Win-Loss ratio: 16.66%
Five Nations win-loss ratio: 20%
Mark McCall
Mark McCall donned the Irish shirt on thirteen occasions between 1992 and 1998. He won one match. Against Canada. The Bangor born McCall later coached Ulster, guiding them to a Celtic League triumph in 2005/06 and the led Saracens to their first ever Aviva Premiership in 2010/11.
Win-Loss ratio: 7.89%
Five Nations win-loss ratio: 0%
David Curtis
The English-born, Connacht centre played thirteen times for Ireland during Ciaran Fitzgerald's time as coach in 1991 and 1992. He emerged on the winning side twice, against Zimbabwe and Japan in the 1991 World Cup.
As for the Five Nations, a 21-21 draw against Wales in Cardiff Arms Park marked the only time he escaped defeat in the competition.
Curtis was a prominent figure for George Hook's Connacht side and Hooky included a try of his against Munster in his top 10 favourite Irish try compiliation.
Cecil Pedlow
Good enough to have been a pivotal player on the 1955 Lions tour, Pedlow was unfortunate enough to play in a fairly barren spell for the national team, and only managed six wins from 30 appearances.
By the way, 30 appearances back in the 50s and early 60s was a marathon career back in those times. Pedlow was also a gifted squash and tennis players. One of the strongest players on this team.
Win-Loss ratio: 23.33%
Five Nations win-loss ratio: 22.22%
Ralph Keyes
RTE co-commentator Keyes was the Munster inter-pros side first choice out-half in the late 80s and early 90s, and made his Ireland debut against England in 1986. He had to wait five years for his second cap, being brought in as Ireland's first choice fly-half for the 1991 World Cup.
After performing well that November, he hung around for Ireland's dismal 1992 Five Nations campaign.
Win-loss ratio: 25%
Five Nations win-loss ratio: 0%
John Robbie
One of the most interesting figures in Irish rugby history, Robbie is today one of the most prominent broadcasters in South Africa, beginning as a sports reporter and branching out into news and current affairs, with the late Nelson Mandela being counted among his fans.
Robbie impressed enough in an Irish shirt to be chosen at scrum half during the 1980 Lions tour of South Africa, never lost once in eight games and started on the test team that defeated the Springboks 17-13.
His experience with the Irish side saw somewhat less success. Remarkably, he lost on all nine occasions he lined out for the Ireland side, possibly earning the record for the most appearances without a single win.
A former Leinster Senior Cup winner, he was playing for Greystones and working for Guinness when he lost his job for breaking the anti-apartheid boycott after touring with Ireland in 1981.
He stayed out there, becoming the Transvaal's most capped player and coming within a whisker of being selected for the Springboks. Now, he's a household name in the country.
Win-loss ratio: 0%
Five-Nations win-loss ratio: 0%
Des Fitzgerald
Luke Fitzgerald's father couldn't have been more different as a player to his son. The tight-head prop played 26 times for Ireland between 1984 and 1992, winning on eight occasions, but with only four coming in the Five Nations.
Fitzgerald was unfortunately out of the side that won the championship in 1985, returning the following year. His four victories in the championship came against England and Wales in '87, Scotland in '88 and Wales in 1990.
Interestingly, Fitzgerald was the man who rang up IRFU committee member Roly Meates a couple of days before the 1991 quarter final against Australia to tell them that 'there would be no Irish team running out on Sunday.'
Crisis negotiations between the union and the players had to take place before the Irish team agreed to take the field for the epic against Campese and co.
Win-loss ratio: 25%
Five Nations win-loss ratio: 19.56%
Steve Smith
The Ballymena hooker held down the no.2 position between 1988 and 1993, winning four matches from 25, three of those coming against Samoa, Italy and Zimbabwe.
In the Five Nations, he mustered one win and a draw from 14 games, the win coming in Cardiff in '89, a match well remembered in Ballinasloe (Noel Mannion).
His final international match was in Murrayfield in 1993, the game after which Simon Geoghegan threw his Irish jersey on the dressing room floor in disgust and had a row with Noel Murphy.
Win-Loss ratio: 18%
Five Nations win-loss ratio: 10.71%
Gary Halpin
Halpin is most famous for his over-exuberant celebration after scoring in the first minute against New Zealand in the 1995 World Cup. His greatest win in an Irish shirt came in that tournament against Wales in the final group game in Johannesburg. He appeared in the Five Nations five times, losing on every occasion.
Keith Wood has praised him for his tendency to bring goodie bags of sweets with him when sitting on the bench.
Win-loss ratio: 27.27%
Five Nations win-loss ratio: 0%
Brian Rigney
A tough second rower, the Laois born Rigney was a stalwart for the Leinster inter-provincial side for years in the 80s and 90s. He featured for the national side during the bleak Ciaran Fitzgerald era in 1991 and 1992.
In eight caps, he was on the losing side seven times and drew the other time in Cardiff in 1991. He did, however, feature prominently in that heroic performance against New Zealand in 1992, when an Irish side who had forgotten what it felt like to win games almost pulled off the shock of the century, losing 24-21.
Neil Francis
Franno being the controversial scribe that he is, the comments sections beneath his articles usually contain truckloads of abuse. And it's never long before someone, usually, but not always, from Munster, opts to ignore the article altogether and instead chastise Francis for being 'a big, soft ruck inspector' and follows that up by making some reference to Tony Copsey, the most popular English-born Welshman in Limerick.
Despite this, Francis was regarded as a formidably talented second-row, good enough to have been called up for the Lions tour in 1989, and earning lofty praise from opponents like Martin Johnson.
Nevertheless, his record in an Irish shirt was poor, winning just three games against serious opposition (excluding Samoa and Italy) in nine years between 1987 and 1996, against Wales in 1990 and 1995 (the latter an RWC game) and England in 94.
He managed just two wins in the Five Nations from 16 games, drawing against Wales in 91. It didn't help that he missed the bulk of the 1993 season, Ireland's most successful year of the decade. Like so many, his best moment in an Irish shirt came in Twickenham in 1994.
Here's a tale of Francis scoring four tries in one game for Australian club, Manly in 1987.
Win-loss ratio: 37.5%
Five Nations win-loss ratio: 15.62%
Michael Fitzgibbon
The Limerick born flanker was an ever present for Ireland during the first half of 1992, the worst year to be ever-present for Ireland.
Ireland endured probably their worst ever Five Nations title that year (and there's some stiff competition for that tag), losing every game and racking up and awful points difference (bearing in mind that was the final year tries were still worth four points).
He toured New Zealand that summer, featuring in both tests against the All-Blacks, the heroic moral victory and the hammering the following week.
Win-loss ratio: 0%
Five Nations win-loss ratio: 0%
Gordon Hamilton
That try in the corner in '91 has overshadowed the rest of his international career which only spanned the 1991 season and the October international against Australia the following year.
Ireland played some good rugby in the Five Nations in 91, but only emerged with one draw against Wales and three narrow defeats.
The Belfast flanker did not play beyond the Fitzgerald era.
Win-loss ratio: 25%
Five Nations win-loss ratio: 12.5%
Brian Robinson
Ulsterman Robinson enjoyed some great days in the jersey, scoring an incredible four tries against Zimbabwe in the 1991 World Cup and the winning try against Wales in Cardiff in 1993. But in a depressing era, he managed just five wins from 23 games, his final game coming in Sydney during the chastening 1994 tour of Australia.
Win-loss ratio: 24%
Five Nations win-loss ratio: 28.57%
