As Aslan once asked, "How can I protect you in this streakless world?" Or something like that.
The Streak is dead, long live The Streak. Last night, Chad Patton shocked the world by counting to three as Brock Lesnar covered The Undertaker's lifeless body. He hobbled to the back surrounded by half an arena yelling "Thank you Taker!" and the other half in stunned silence as the longest-running wrestling angle of all-time came to an unexpected climax in it's 22nd year. Immediately the rumour mill started overflowing with conspiracy theories that Undertaker wasn't supposed to lose and just failed to kick out on time (which loses steam when you consider WWE had a 21-1 graphic handy) and so on as fans began to ask themselves what the world would be like now that this 49-year old man didn't win a match at an event he normally wins matches at.
Oh, and Daniel Bryan is the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion too. Wow, way to steal his thunder, Taker.
It was a WrestleMania for the ages, the kind that makes you feel rewarded for months upon months of investment that tends to vary quite drastically in quality. They were off to a win as soon as they opened the night with Hulk Hogan being interrupted by Steve Austin, and then The Rock, in a segment that felt like they were just showing off truth be told. John Cena defeated Bray Wyatt in a stellar bout. After breaking up with his Real American tag-team partner Jack Swagger earlier in the night, Cesaro delighted in winning the inaugural Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. The Shield decimated Kane and the New Age Outlaws, while AJ Lee and The Usos retained their respective titles.
Not only that, but WrestleMania weekend also took in the WWE Hall of Fame ceremony, which saw The Ultimate Warrior struggle to play nice despite his fractious WWE past in his acceptance speech, a fitting tribute to the departed Paul Bearer, Scott Hall and Jake Roberts continuing their road to recovery, Lita recounting every...single...step of her in-ring career and Mr T thanks his mother for a solid four hours.
Here's the highlights of the weekend, via Twitter:
The weekend began with news that would devastate Irish WWE fans...
Thanks for the messages of support, but we are NOT fighting @JohnCena this Sunday. But best of luck to @WWEBrayWyatt #UpTheBray
— Bray Wanderers AFC (@BrayWanderers) April 3, 2014
The Kliq posed for a pre-HoF selfie...
Now that's a selfie........#kliqrules pic.twitter.com/sEHa8RLfVH
— Triple H (@TripleH) April 6, 2014
Trish Stratus cracked the jokes during her induction of Lita...
Trish Status on her and Lita: "We were like wrestlers and spray tan - we went together."
— Wade Keller (@thewadekeller) April 6, 2014
Not all of us are privileged enough to get the medical advice that Lita benefitted from...
I had a bad bout of diarrhoea the other week and wanted to talk to Stone Cold. Didn’t happen though. #WWEHoF
— Rick Nash (@AMTRick) April 6, 2014
Jake The Snake's speech was predictably inspirational...
"I don't regret loving wrestling. Cause there's nothing on this planet like it." - @JakeSnakeDDT #WWEHOF
— Curt Hawkins (@TheCurtHawkins) April 6, 2014
He actually never did get to talking about wrestling...
I hope Mr. T never gets to wrestling. Just talks about his mom another 15 minutes, says a prayer, and heads off. — Todd Martin (@ToddMartinMMA) April 6, 2014
An obvious combination...
"I've got a Mr. T tattoo. An Ultimate Warrior tattoo too. This is a big night for me." -The guy next to me
— David Shoemaker (@AKATheMaskedMan) April 6, 2014
Now the Shiek is talking about Mr T's mother, there is so much to love about that speech...
I love the Mr. T mom too. He belong in the Hall of Jabroni. #WWEHOF
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) April 6, 2014
And it went on...
For those not watching, Mr. T is still talking about mothers. I don't know if he's going to stop. This is just totally insane.
— Wade Keller (@thewadekeller) April 6, 2014
Then he began thanking his seven brothers. Not even joking...
I hope he doesn't love each brother as much as he loves his mother. #f4wmania30 #WWEHOF #WrestleMania — Bryan Alvarez (@bryanalvarez) April 6, 2014
Ba-dum-bum...
And that's How Mr T Met Your Mother.
— HEELWrestling (@HEELWrestling) April 6, 2014
"I hate to cut off @MrT talking about his mother but he almost cut into MY time talking about my daddy, Paul Bearer" - @KaneWWE #WWEHOF #WWE — WWE WrestleMania (@WrestleMania) April 6, 2014
Congrats to the late great Paul Bearer #RIPWilliamMoody #WWEHOF pic.twitter.com/CmRjLENXnN — Heather VanDine (@nevadawolfe) April 6, 2014
Awesome tribute to paul bearer by Kane and undertaker #wwehof pic.twitter.com/QBfg5AXJ6J — maria menounos (@mariamenounos) April 6, 2014
If you can ignore the fact that he admitted to ESPN last year that he murdered a guy, then I can totally get behind this...
Ramon: Hard work pays off, dreams come true, bad times don't last but bad guys do! #WWEHOF — WrestlingNewsSource (@WNSource) April 6, 2014
Carlito mentions the elephant in the room...
Carlito Colon: "We got our time cut. It's like I never left, ladies and gentlemen." — Wade Keller (@thewadekeller) April 6, 2014
The fans began chanting about the rumours that Colon was responsible for the death of Bruiser Brody during his induction into the Hall of Murde...I mean, Fame...
Carlos Colon with a Spanish language audiobook version of "If I Did It" by Carlos Colon there. — Big Danny Cool (@GolazoDan) April 6, 2014
Then it was time for the main event...
The Ultimate Warrior: coffee has a shot of him in the morning! — Jimmy Korderas (@jimmykorderas) April 6, 2014
Give the people what they want man!
Yeah, yeah, you love your family. On with the crazy rants and burying people! #wwehof #warrior — James Hornsby (@BotchedSpot) April 6, 2014
WWE tried to pretend all was nice with Warrior, but not everyone could play happy families...
Interesting that so many of the guys that worked with Warrior 87-92 aren't clapping with the others, crowd #wwehof — The History of WWE (@TheHistoryofWWE) April 6, 2014
It ended as all recent Warrior public speeches do: controversial, messy and a bit boring and long by the end...
Personally, I think my #WWEHOF speech last year may have been better than this one. — Mick Foley (@realmickfoley) April 6, 2014
Then it was onto Sunday and the madness in Dublin city...
#WoolshedMania is runnin’ wild! pic.twitter.com/tDPvLKx8Zd — Rick Nash (@AMTRick) April 6, 2014
Cesaro let rip onto his partner Jack Swagger after they lost to The Usos on the kickoff show...
Cesaro-tation should be the name for @WWECesaro's giant swing. — Beekthulhu (@JaimsVanDerBeek) April 6, 2014
What's a WrestleMania without Hogan flubbing his lines...
Silverdome/Superdome, potato/tomato — Rajah.com (@RajahForums) April 6, 2014
Every fans thoughts about the opening segment summed up in 140 characters...
AUSTIN. ROCK. HOGAN. OH MY J!HUHUEHU"HE #Wrestlemania — WrestlingNewsSource (@WNSource) April 6, 2014
Ditto...
NO CAN OF RED BULL COULD CREATE THE FEELINGS I HAVE RIGHT NOW. #Wrestlemania — Lee Jordan (@TheLeeJordan) April 6, 2014
Unfortunately people have released videos of people doing more than that with it...
Rock just kissed Hogan on the moustache. I wouldn't touch that thing with a fucking glove on.
— HEELWrestling (@HEELWrestling) April 6, 2014
Every fan did...
When the lights went dark there for Hunter's ring entrance, how many of you panicked that the Network feed went out? — Wade Keller (@thewadekeller) April 6, 2014
The storyline had echoes of Chris Benoit's ten years ago, and Daniel Bryan and Triple H's match felt like an uncomfortable homage to the man too...
They are fucking doing every Benoit move in the book. Hope Stephanie left the kids with Linda. — Eamo (@EamoV1) April 6, 2014
Chris Benoit, trending worldwide. — MaffewOfBotchamania (@Maffewgregg) April 6, 2014
An astute observation during the blink-and-you'll miss it 6-man tags...
With this Corporate Kane character we've learned a lot about him...like the fact he's an outie. #WrestleMania — WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) April 7, 2014
The Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal was next up and the fans' message wasn't so much loud and clear, but it was clear...
"IF CENA WINS, WE RIOT!" If Big Show wins, we quiet. — HEELWrestling (@HEELWrestling) April 7, 2014
Bray Wyatt's girl dancing with fire kicked off a new era of epic entrances...
That entrance right there may finally have topped any of The Undertaker's. #WYATTorRIOT #WrestleMania — Geoff (@SunsetFlippant) April 7, 2014
...yeah...
I love grudge fights that start with side headlock takeovers — Lenny Leonard (@DragonGateLenny) April 7, 2014
Unfortunately Jim 'JR' Ross contributions to WrestleMania 30 were confined to Twitter...
1. Cesaro is "moving on up" 2. Loved straight forward drama w/ Cena vs Wyatt 3. #WrestleMania validated that Wyatt has truly arrived. Duh — Jim Ross (@JRsBBQ) April 7, 2014
It's not exactly as straightforward as the t-shirt makes it out to be...
Eat. Sleep. Conquer. Get cut by an NFL team. Lose in the UFC. Get a part-time WWE contract. Repeat. #WrestleMania — WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) April 7, 2014
How wrong we all were...
"I've got Lesnar in this one!" - Nobody — Don Marnell (@LandfillKennedy) April 7, 2014
Lesnar's t-shirt is like an open goal for Twitter jokes...
Eat, Sleep, Conquer, Repeat. When does this guy pee??? #WrestleMania — Chelsee (@ThisBeChelsee) April 7, 2014
The Taker/Lesnar match was a bit slower paced than anticipated...
@ThePurpleLego brock seriously needs to pick up the pace and hit a shooting star press through the announcer table. — crazy coke eyes (@unDASHING) April 7, 2014
Taker's fake tan also proved to be easy fodder for Twitter...
Taker looks like the last cheeseburger under a gas station heat lamp. #WresleMania30 — John Thorne (@JohnThorneAIW) April 7, 2014
The world after those fateful three seconds...
WHAT? WHAT? OH MY FUCKING GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS? — HEELWrestling (@HEELWrestling) April 7, 2014
The ENTIRE Superdome just went dead silent. Wow. #WrestleMania #streakvsbeast — Corey Graves (@WWEGraves) April 7, 2014
Brock Lesnar GO FUCK YOURSELF #WrestleMania30 — The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) April 7, 2014
This is like hearing a close relative's just died in a really amusing way and you're not sure how you should feel. — MaffewOfBotchamania (@Maffewgregg) April 7, 2014
Time stood still in the pub. Silent shock waiting for confirmation of the impossible. A historic moment. Awesome. pic.twitter.com/LpFbwMRucm
— Jay Hunter (@OSWreview) April 7, 2014
#WrestleMania #undertaker #ThankYouTaker pic.twitter.com/9JwFNEjUNd
— DrewPac F. Kennedy (@DrewSkiWilson) April 7, 2014
There's always one...
It's a work. — Tony Givens (@TonyGivens82) April 7, 2014
Cheesey jokes? Anyone? No?
I'm Brocken up about this loss. I don't know I'm going to Taker it #WresleMania30 #streakvsbeast — Rebecca Quin (@BeckyLynchWWE) April 7, 2014
It was just too much for some...
First Taker loses, now Naomi ... is nothing sacred? — Seth Mates (@SethMates) April 7, 2014
Main event time...
It's The Viper vs. The Goat vs. The Animal. This sounds like the start of a nursery rhyme. #WrestleMania — WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) April 7, 2014
Even WWE.com marked out at the end...
BATISTA TAPS OUT!! DANIEL BRYAN .... NEEWWWWWWW @WWE World Heavyweight Champion!! #YES! #YES! #YES! #YES! #YES! #YES! #WrestleMania — WWE (@WWE) April 7, 2014
.@WWEDanielBryan emerges victorious, against all odds, all authority, he's a champion #WrestleMania #WWE #WWENetwork pic.twitter.com/gEC4em7xcG
— WWE WrestleMania (@WrestleMania) April 7, 2014
Jedi hologram of Benoit & Guerrero are in the front row very happy right now. #WrestleMania — Marty DeRosa (@MartyDeRosa) April 7, 2014
It was up there...
BEST #WRESTLEMANIA EVER.
— Joey Styles (@JoeyStyles) April 7, 2014
WrestleMania 30 Quick Results
*Kick-Off Show: WWE World Tag-Team Champions, THE USOS over REAL AMERICANS, RYBAXEL & LOS MATADORES
*DANIEL BRYAN over TRIPLE H
*THE SHIELD over KANE & NEW AGE OUTLAWS
*CESARO won the 30-man ANDRE THE GIANT MEMORIAL BATTLE ROYAL
*JOHN CENA over BRAY WYATT
*BROCK LESNAR over THE UNDERTAKER
*WWE Divas Champion, AJ LEE won the VICKIE GUERRERO INVITATIONAL
*DANIEL BRYAN over WWE World Champion, RANDY ORTON & BATISTA
I'll be back tomorrow with a special extra edition of Sweet Chin Musings looking back on tonight's 'Raw after WrestleMania' in Tweets...
